hiroshima.

the first atomic bomb was dropped on august 6, 1945 at 8:15am. while an entire city was destroyed - this watch somehow survived?











formula: a japanese kid, an american flag t-shirt, and a peace sign. you just can't make this shit up.

education.

questions i find myself asking a lot:

1. are you supposed to eat this?

2. are you kidding me?

3. what on earth is happening here?


both of these pictures fall in #3.

sing your life.

think of the children.

another reason you should quit: "a lit cigarette is carried at the height of a child's face"

turns out, we are in a foreign country.

Kyoto is a famous place. everyone says they love kyoto. the guidebooks INSIST on kyoto: the temples, the food, etc. however not one person fully explained how UNBELIEVABLY HOT IT IS HERE. ok, so that's not true, everyone said it was hot, but this must be a bad translation. this is not 'hot' as we know it - this humidity is unbreathable.

ADVICE: BELIEVE THE WEATHER REPORTS.

arrival: We arrived around 3, starving (as usual..), jacked up on 9 cups of coffee (as usual..), and exhausted (patterns..), walk out of the train station and almost pass out. picture hot yoga, but without the yoga, and WITH a giant backpack. or maybe just picture the most humid place you can imagine, and hold your breath. ahh. yes.. that's it. ***

dinner: lonely planet described this place as "300 year old soba shop" with the kyoto delicacy "fish in noodles." great. perfect. we head out around... 5? "20 minute walk." 1.5 hours later..... we are still lost.

skills: putting my masterful japanese to work, I ask this woman for directions. she has no idea what we are talking about, so decides to call - but soon she notices that she lost her phone. internally she must be in a panic, but continues to help, and brings over another guy who starts the conversation by saying "i can't help, I'm part jewish." (???) so all four of us, confused, hot, and unable to communicate, are all huddled over lonely planet as if this group formation will somehow produce answers. magically, it does and shawn and i had been going in the EXACT wrong direction.

imminent death: dying from heat overload - i need hydration and grab a convenient vending machine "water." Fuck - it is cloudy?? how is this possible? what am i drinking? great. so now, not only am a losing weight from lack of food and heat, but i am replacing my much needed vitamins with a-horrible-cloudy-water-beverage. we are both about to cry.

"success": we find it.

entering: is this a door? do we go in? is there anyone there? what about these shoes?!? I AM ABOUT TO EAT MY HANDS. please god, someone help us.

ordering: ahhh, yes.. the special! We'll have the SPECIAL! KYOTO's FAMOUS SPECIAL FISH NOODLE THING! (pictured above, left). HURRY!!

man, this would have been delicious!!! ........ if we had the palate for dried smoked, fishy, wood chips. turns out... we don't. the rest of the meal was great, kyoto is great, and it smells like love.

conclusion: i too INSIST you come. just trade your confidence and guidebook for a good map and a local.

breakfast and savings.

morning yoghurt - which turned out to be, creme brulee, and a guy in a turban who loves savings.

answers.

"they drink too much tea, which is why everything is so loud and crazy." -shawn mcgowan

this is from an elevator ceiling - for entertainment.

more observations:

1. no one eats or drinks on the street or subway.


2. i need to re-iterate how clean this place is.


3. subway seats are made of SPOTLESS cloth (can you imagine this in nyc?)


4. no matter how hard you try, you are not as stylish as the japanese.


5. ADVICE: do not wear a short skirt when eating at a restaurant where you sit on the floor (even if you believe this short skirt is your key to insider fashion. it is not, and it will be just annoying for you).


6. often, there are no street names. but not in a 'you-can't-find-it' way, but in a 'there-is-no-name' way. rendering most addresses in guidebooks, extraordinarily useless. unless it says "next to the 6-foot high talking LCD playing a random japanese boy band video that is selling instant noodles," addresses are pointless.

7. lots of dog pictures, not a dog in sight.

ooooh no you (shibu)ya didn't!

you can all act as witnesses to the following statement: upon return to the city, i pledge to never laugh, roll my eyes, or be generally annoyed with tourists. i will embrace their confused ways, their photographs, and will celebrate their slow pace. i will find charm in their "standing" in "walking" side of the escalator, and in their extraordinary volume on the subway. i will smile when i see 4- 5 woman, walking next to each other, slowly, blocking the entire 5th avenue sidewalk, and will no longer find it strange when they mysteriously place their giant day-pack-back-pack in their front of their bodies.

"to each his own," you will hear me say. you want your boyfriend to take picture in front of trump tower!? "go for it!" tiffany's?! "charming!!" these are the memories, and that is a wonderful idea. (ok, so it is true, these pictures are still a little stupid). but i'm not judging. no more!

i took 45 pictures of dead fish in one day.

we sat at the shibuya intersection, drank bottled water, and turned my fully unfolded map upside down- all in hopes of gaining a better understanding. i have shamelessly, and countlessly, whipped out my guide book for maps, facts, and advice. i've been honked at, almost hit by bikes, motorcycles, and other nameless vehicles. i've blocked the sidewalk, slowed down the pace, and gone out of my way to take pictures of nothing. so as you see, it is ME who is messing with the system here, and i have no intention of stopping.

it is all so karmic.

too tired for wit.

(above: breakfast and mags' long lost japanese family)


it must be said: i am retarded exhausted. i cannot believe it is noon. (note: shawn and i tried for a good 45 minutes to find a "bar" before we realized it was, 10am).







quick observations from a retardedly sleepy person:

1. this place is BEYOND clean. i mean, it is sort of mindblowing. i see more trash on my brooklyn block then in this entire city.
2. the japanese are NOT afraid of a vending machine.
3. hot - HOT, VERY HOT.
4. ADVICE : don't wear sandals to a fish market (even if it is hot, HOT, VERY HOT).

breakfast from the sea.

i know, i know, it is sideways. due to our INCREDIBLY early rise, we were able to make it to the fish market. so were these guys.

The Jet Lag myth (noodle face)

i love to pretend that jet lag is a myth. a tall tale told to scare travelers and for chumps who can't handle a tough night of no sleep. but last night, when i woke up, ready to get in the shower and start the day early, i realized there might be something to this. upon awaking early, i thought, "well, this is great, so i'll get up early and explore, no big deal. get a jump start, as as they say."

the time was.... 12:30.

few jams and some ceiling stares later (ambien) i went back to sleep. however, i'm up now. it is currently 5 am. LET"S PARTY TOKYO!! WHO IS WITH ME!!?? hello? anyone? where is everyone??? ohaiyogozaimasu...........

Ground Control to Major "John"

after a 14 hour flight, and everything that entails, i was welcomed in tokyo with this public toilet. while yes, i'm sure tokyo is much more exciting than a toilet - it is a tough one to top. the only feature i used was the "music" feature, which just played a non-stop flushing noise. This WAS hilarious, until i was unable to stop it... it may still be singing as we speak. the rest of the features are clearly labeled: heat settings, cold settings, a variety of sprays (?). read and ask yourself this - have karyn and shawn ACTUALLY travelled to the future? the answer may surprise you. or not, after all, i am 13 hours ahead of you. No sleep in, and starving.

the first "blog."

i just wish it wasn't called a "blog." couldn't they come up with something that doesn't sound so gross?

this is the website where there will be pictures of two extremely happy people eating lots of noodles, and buying cute things.